HOW CAN WE BE THERE FOR SOMEONE WHO KEEPS MAKING BAD CHOICES?
This is an issue very close to many of our hearts and most of us would think that talking or intervention would be the most powerful approach. To me, it seemed to be the only way that I could actually ‘do something’. But would it be the right something??
Sometimes, intervention is a good and very effective step to take but if the person is not willing to hear, then the result is almost always a severe breakdown in relationship.
And how can we be of any help if we are not allowed into the person’s life?
So I did some surfing on the net, to see what the advice I could gather. I read articles and stories from both Godly and secular sources and I feel that I have a much better understanding on the subject – in fact I feel freed from my self-imposed responsibility to ‘fix it’ and freed into just having a true and loving relationship with this person.
It’s difficult to stand by and watch the people we love make choices that we believe are not good for them.
It is our love for them that makes us care about them …that makes us concerned for them and makes us hurt for them because we know that they will almost certainly reap bad results from their choices.
But we have no right to force our choices on anyone else – unless they would like to know what we think.
If someone is opening up to you and telling you about the choices that they are making or the things that they are doing, but NOT asking you for advice, then the very best thing that you could say to them would be something like this …” I love you and I want your life to work out well. If this is what you feel is right for you, then I am praying that it all works out for you.”
It won’t help to be critical or judgemental. We need to keep the communication open so that that they feel that they can come to us if they get to a point where they see that they have made a bad mistake. They may never choose to see it but we can only help if we are alongside them.
Navigating how we deal with loved ones who are continually making bad choices, is one of the most challenging things that we will face in our lives. But the reality is that we live in a world of bad choices. We will watch others make them. And we will make them too.
The key thing to remember is that you cannot measure another person’s behaviour against your own.
Everyone is accountable for their own actions. The very best thing that we can do for someone is to love them.
- Linda Prins 083 289 5915
We will be hosting a fellowship meeting in our home, 48 Helderberg Close, Stonehurst Mountain Estate, at 9 thirty am on the first Sunday of every month.
We invite you to join us and bring your young ones too!